i want someone who is with me because they want to not because they feel a need to.
Something weird is going on with my relationship. and it has really been bothering me lately!
to the point where i feel myself getting extremely depressed! :(
godddd!
i wish it will go away. I hate going on facebook to rant and so i wont. but i've been taking it an hour at a time here. school is both keeping me sane and driving me up the wall~
Im reading up daily motivational quotes and they help me a lot in trying to reenergize myself. but now i just feel defeated.
except i refuse to let myself feel this way. and i should start to objectively see whats best for me.
We'll see, if things play out the way theyre supposed to be. hopefully all is well. but being by myself last year for a few months really made me sure of what i want and dont want in a relationship.
they always say. forgive but never forget, cause if you forget then how are you going to learn from your mistakes.. right?
have a good day readers. back to legal writing! :)
GROWIN' UP GHANDI. One boy's Dreams, Fears, Travels and Experiences.
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Monday, February 06, 2012
like sunshine on a cloudy day
Is it wrong that im thinking of marriage?
that im ready to spend forever with someone. but there are just way too many things that would render this decision unwise at the moment.
For one, school~ i think if i could keep this relationship together for my law school years, on my day of graduation, i would propose.
3 years is an awfully long time isnt it!? haha. but if forever it is, then 3 years is nothing right.
Valentine's Day is coming. and i have never spend so much time on a gift no have i been anywhere near as excited spending valentines day with the same person in two years.
It would also be our 1 year anniversary.
Im so in love.~~~ been in love since the day we started dating. and if anything my feelings have only deepened and matured.
Heading to Mexico this weekend! :)
cant wait to be with you again!
that im ready to spend forever with someone. but there are just way too many things that would render this decision unwise at the moment.
For one, school~ i think if i could keep this relationship together for my law school years, on my day of graduation, i would propose.
3 years is an awfully long time isnt it!? haha. but if forever it is, then 3 years is nothing right.
Valentine's Day is coming. and i have never spend so much time on a gift no have i been anywhere near as excited spending valentines day with the same person in two years.
It would also be our 1 year anniversary.
Im so in love.~~~ been in love since the day we started dating. and if anything my feelings have only deepened and matured.
Heading to Mexico this weekend! :)
cant wait to be with you again!
Sunday, January 29, 2012
Travel tips! #1
I've subscribed to a few different travel apps that give me all these useful travel tips and deals. Of course, i love sharing :)
Tip numero uno: for best airfare deals, shop six weeks before your trip!
Tip numero uno: for best airfare deals, shop six weeks before your trip!
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
I Feel Funny. a perspective on my life and law school.
Dear readers,
today i feel funny.
not because im sad, not because im happy. not even because of an upset stomach. i just feel funny. like my feelings are a lil confused over which one presides over the other.
I feel a quarterly happy, a quarterly stressed maybe one third sad, an inch of impatience, two cups of empowerment and a teaspoon of confidence.
Law school is making me feel all these things. and i often forget my life out of school.. yes even though its only my first week. Im buried in a ton of readings, which even though im routinely doing them, i feel like im barely there. just getting through. i am however giving myself room to make mistakes and learn better strategies to tackle the art of being a law student.
I have been noting the lessons i've learned in law school, besides subject matter of course. for example. i used to think that i had a pretty darn good resume, highly motivated, extremely diverse and that i stand out among my peers. to some extent..., (even though i still in my hearts of hearts think that i am still special), so is everyone else. and because law school is so competitive- you literally are competing with your peers for a place in the top percentile of your class due to the damn grading curves, everyone else is also working just as hard.
my second observation kinda relates to the earlier fact- my friends and companion are the walls of my library and my dear law books!
Maybe its the first week, where everyone is just so motivated to do well, or maybe thats just the way law school is- either way, i know what will keep me going and i plan to keep at it.
I also feel a lil bit funny about my other relations, i feel like because im deprived of so much entertainment and relaxing activites, i may just be putting on a bit much pressure on my partner to compensate for that absence forgetting their own commitments and stress. and the damn distance is driving me crazy.... but i think i'm more crazily in love that the distance is just another circumstance that can be overcome. Life is definitely changing though... and i just have to strengthen what i have and remember to be content. We're all still building our future arent we? :)
Friends- oh friends, i've alienated you. I dont know.. the hours of my days just seem to go by soooo quickly. its 12.30 in the afternoon now. before i know it , it would be 10. i'd have to head back home and by the time i fall asleep its 1.. and then my day starts back again at 6 the next morning!
Health- I am hitting the gym every single day for some sort of exercise. its been keeping my stress levels down and perhaps where most of my worries just disappear.
Future plans- speaking of future plans, i've consulted a possible partner in business, and am currently drafting up my very own business proposal. no details yet, just loads of excited anticipation. Hopefully by summer, a more concrete plan could be formulated.
Family- the esssence of my soul and the origination of my being- god. i love my family. I had a very eventful time back home. strengthened some of my bonds, loosened other unwanted strands. Family fueds, family laughter. I must say the one thing that i think distinguishes my family from others, is that EVERYONE in my household has such strong personalities: everywhere we go, we kind of gravitate towards a leadership role, be it in a social circle or a position of authority in a formal setting, that:
a) i find myself taking a back seat just watching everything before me; and
b) there are just too much clashing of the minds/personalities.
c) our dynamics are so that we may be better off and more successful working on our own, but i am confident that if we can get in the right mindset/understanding, there'd be nothing we cant handle as a family.
So i dont know, it was very interesting how i used to think i was shy and reserved but when i came abroad, i embodied everything i didnt think i was.
and this dual personality extends not just with me.
my mom- at home she is perhaps the most loving, caring, patient woman ( sort of whats expected of an indian wife( which i despise-the sexism in the indian culture, but lets save that for another time)), but at work she is a woman of steel- feared and respected.
my dad- perhaps the terror at home( and i say that with some form of adoration and a lil disapproval), and just plain lovable outside.
and my brothers all unique and different in their own ways.
Maybe we need group therapy, maybe its just human nature. in the end, we're all just trying to live a life well fulfilled. and i think as far as my obligation as a son, i am fulfilling that in every right way.
I see my role turning- this added responsibilities, this added drama, my school, my relationship, my health, my friends. i want to find a balance. and i have to find it fast or i will stand to lose some of the people and things that matter most.
ah.... life :) and being an adult.
today i feel funny.
not because im sad, not because im happy. not even because of an upset stomach. i just feel funny. like my feelings are a lil confused over which one presides over the other.
I feel a quarterly happy, a quarterly stressed maybe one third sad, an inch of impatience, two cups of empowerment and a teaspoon of confidence.
Law school is making me feel all these things. and i often forget my life out of school.. yes even though its only my first week. Im buried in a ton of readings, which even though im routinely doing them, i feel like im barely there. just getting through. i am however giving myself room to make mistakes and learn better strategies to tackle the art of being a law student.
I have been noting the lessons i've learned in law school, besides subject matter of course. for example. i used to think that i had a pretty darn good resume, highly motivated, extremely diverse and that i stand out among my peers. to some extent..., (even though i still in my hearts of hearts think that i am still special), so is everyone else. and because law school is so competitive- you literally are competing with your peers for a place in the top percentile of your class due to the damn grading curves, everyone else is also working just as hard.
my second observation kinda relates to the earlier fact- my friends and companion are the walls of my library and my dear law books!
Maybe its the first week, where everyone is just so motivated to do well, or maybe thats just the way law school is- either way, i know what will keep me going and i plan to keep at it.
I also feel a lil bit funny about my other relations, i feel like because im deprived of so much entertainment and relaxing activites, i may just be putting on a bit much pressure on my partner to compensate for that absence forgetting their own commitments and stress. and the damn distance is driving me crazy.... but i think i'm more crazily in love that the distance is just another circumstance that can be overcome. Life is definitely changing though... and i just have to strengthen what i have and remember to be content. We're all still building our future arent we? :)
Friends- oh friends, i've alienated you. I dont know.. the hours of my days just seem to go by soooo quickly. its 12.30 in the afternoon now. before i know it , it would be 10. i'd have to head back home and by the time i fall asleep its 1.. and then my day starts back again at 6 the next morning!
Health- I am hitting the gym every single day for some sort of exercise. its been keeping my stress levels down and perhaps where most of my worries just disappear.
Future plans- speaking of future plans, i've consulted a possible partner in business, and am currently drafting up my very own business proposal. no details yet, just loads of excited anticipation. Hopefully by summer, a more concrete plan could be formulated.
Family- the esssence of my soul and the origination of my being- god. i love my family. I had a very eventful time back home. strengthened some of my bonds, loosened other unwanted strands. Family fueds, family laughter. I must say the one thing that i think distinguishes my family from others, is that EVERYONE in my household has such strong personalities: everywhere we go, we kind of gravitate towards a leadership role, be it in a social circle or a position of authority in a formal setting, that:
a) i find myself taking a back seat just watching everything before me; and
b) there are just too much clashing of the minds/personalities.
c) our dynamics are so that we may be better off and more successful working on our own, but i am confident that if we can get in the right mindset/understanding, there'd be nothing we cant handle as a family.
So i dont know, it was very interesting how i used to think i was shy and reserved but when i came abroad, i embodied everything i didnt think i was.
and this dual personality extends not just with me.
my mom- at home she is perhaps the most loving, caring, patient woman ( sort of whats expected of an indian wife( which i despise-the sexism in the indian culture, but lets save that for another time)), but at work she is a woman of steel- feared and respected.
my dad- perhaps the terror at home( and i say that with some form of adoration and a lil disapproval), and just plain lovable outside.
and my brothers all unique and different in their own ways.
Maybe we need group therapy, maybe its just human nature. in the end, we're all just trying to live a life well fulfilled. and i think as far as my obligation as a son, i am fulfilling that in every right way.
I see my role turning- this added responsibilities, this added drama, my school, my relationship, my health, my friends. i want to find a balance. and i have to find it fast or i will stand to lose some of the people and things that matter most.
ah.... life :) and being an adult.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
